Seriously? Isn’t this where it all began??
I have battled weight my entire life. I was a chubby baby – some babies look like the Gerber baby. In pictures I’ve seen, I look like the Michelin tire man. I was fat through elementary school. By 8th grade, I was tired of kids making fun of me (Oh yes, dear children, we had bullies back in the day before bullying was big business), and crash dieted myself thinner. I ate nothing. No, that’s not a typo. I skipped breakfast and lunch every day, in favor of sweetened iced tea. For dinner, I ate as little as possible, and some more iced tea. Some nights, I ate saltine crackers in place of dinner. I got thin. But, of course, that whole eating thing crept back into vogue, and I got heavy again.
My first “get real” diet was with Jim. Planning to get married, I hoped to be a size 12 instead of a size 18, and he and I both joined NutriSystem. We lost weight, we felt healthy, and while I was a size 12 in real people clothes, I still had a size 18 wedding gown It was discouraging, but we were both in peak shape.
Well, until I got pregnant.
I battled again – after Brighid; after Eilis; and even after Granuaile. I never got back to the size 12 I wanted to be, but instead got up to a size 26. Well, I think 26, because I bought only stretchy things – mostly size 3X. I was bigger than Jim. With so many people promoting weight loss surgery, I jumped right on the bandwagon.
I have touted weight loss surgery as a great thing for me. It was. I’ve had complications, to be sure, but I am so grateful to have lost 150 pounds. I do not think I will ever see a size 26 again, but I have fallen off the wagon. I have gone from a low of a size 10 back up to a size 14/16, and it’s scary.
We have gotten into bad habits. With school work, night classes, and overall busy, pizza seems like a good idea at least a couple of nights a week. And come on, who eats one slice of pizza? Even gastrically altered, I can eat at least two. And if it doesn’t get put away right away, I can go back for a third later on.
I have to get back to the gym, when life settles down in two weeks. And I am going to. But my diet needs to improve. Portion control needs to be a priority again. Eating to live, not living to eat needs to be the focus.
So here we are, back at the beginning. I am trying 30 days of NutriSystem to see if it can help get me back to where I belong.
Pray with me. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
This is me today; me at my lowest; and two pictures of me at my highest.