When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. – Erma Bombeck
Today, my husband posted a picture of me on Facebook that I hate. It was taken last Christmas, up 40 pounds from my lowest post gastric bypass weight. I wore all black, as you do when you’re trying to conceal rolls of flab, and when the pictures came back from the photographer, I realized I discovered what Jabba the Hutt would look like had they bothered to clothe him.
My husband looked for people to tell him how awesome the photo was. He loves the picture. But my husband, who spends 23.7 hours of his day thinking of ways to “get lucky”, isn’t the most impartial judge of how good I look. He’s quite certain – as am I – that telling me I look like a clothed Jabba the Hutt would mean that 23.7 hours of that particular day would have been a complete waste. But he got several people to say that yes, I did indeed look good in that picture.
Then he asked my mom. I believe this is her exact quote, “No, it’s not a good picture! It shows how fat she is again! I don’t know why you would spend all that money to have surgery only to get fat. Is it time for birthday cake?”
I kid you not.
So as we enter the 3rd day of thanksgiving, I am thankful for my mom. What? you ask. Someone says something like that and you are thankful? Yeah. I am. Because it’s always my mom who will be honest with me. If I ask her opinion or her advice, I’m going to get it, followed by, “But you’re going to do what you want to do anyway.” But she is honest, and even if the words sting, they are the words I need to hear.
My mother is also an awesome grandmother. She is so generous with my kids, she treats them all the same (although I suspect she may have a favorite), and even at their worst, she loves them as if they are at their best.
My mom has bounced back from some awful stuff. She’s suffered tragic losses and battled life threatening illness. But she pulls no punches, loves us with everything she is, and honestly, she’s just bad ass.